


insignificant and temporary

by tripleangst



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Gen, Gen Work, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-09-15 21:36:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9258248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tripleangst/pseuds/tripleangst
Summary: Love is only temporary, but it's the kind of temporary that lasts permanently. Mitch has so far had four loves in his life.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Truth be told I saw _La La Land_ last night and then was thinking about Mitch this afternoon just because, and this was the end result. Don’t own Mitch or his thoughts, which is probably best for us all.

All of this is insignificant and temporary.

At nineteen years old, Mitch has already had a lot of big moments. He's won awards, he's made brothers for life, and he's been a part of something bigger than himself, bigger than just a single sport can take credit for. He's made an impact on people's lives, been on their TVs almost nightly, and contributed to their entertainment and happiness. It's a surreal feeling sometimes, being a hockey player, not to mention, a Maple Leaf. It's new and he feels part of the present. 

Between all of his big moments though, the ones that can grow larger than life, there have also been small moments. Unlike his big moments, the small ones have stayed small. The casual pats on the back when he was down, the jokes with teammates over breakfast, and the constant words of encouragement from those closest to him are these special flashes that are gone in an instant.

A year can be easily remembered by a big win or a raised trophy, but it’s the moments leading to each of those that have carried Mitch farther in his career than anything else. And since his big moments now matter to a lot of people, Mitch figures it’s his duty to remember the smaller ones.

Please remember that all of this is insignificant and temporary.

Mitch is small. Not just in body - _ha ha_ those original jokes and headlines will never get old - but in the grand scheme of things. He knows his accomplishments only matter to so many people and for so much time. That doesn't mean he shouldn't keep striving for better, but it helps keep him grounded to know that everything he knows will one day not be known by anyone or anything, and that is okay. Now is fun, and now is fire. He's untouchable when he wants to be.

 

The first time he falls in love isn't with Dylan like so many of his friends would think. It's with hockey, which sure, isn't so uncommon for players to say, but it's already been discussed that Mitch's feelings are insignificant, and that can also make them unoriginal. It doesn't make them any less important to him.

He falls in love with his body's ability to balance on the ice, his brain's ability to trust his legs to keep moving at a high speed. He falls in love with the wind on his face, outside rink or not, and the smell of the ice, always being able to almost taste it on his tongue. He falls in love with the feeling and the sound of the puck hitting his tape. It sends a jolt up his spine every time and even more so when he's near the net. 

He falls in love with movement. 

 

His next love is a love he sometimes hates to crave. He loves winning and once he gets his first taste, he knows he'll never stop. Winning is a companion to hockey, and the two warm up to Mitch quite easily once they’ve spent enough time with him. Winning is almost as insignificant as Mitch himself, and the lie we all tell ourselves that winning means everything makes it that much more intoxicating. 

Winning in hockey helps Mitch breathe even when it feels like he's dying. 

And if there's one thing hockey and winning come together to bring him, it's his next love, entirely unexpected by Mitch. They allow him to love a boy named Dylan.

 

The first time he meets Dylan, it does not feel like love. In the scheme of all time in the universe, he will both hate and love Dylan for less than a conceivable fraction of a second, but Mitch doesn’t know or think that yet. In his life, what will matter to him is that he will ignorantly hate and then love Dylan fiercely for a long, long period. 

He finds out soon after meeting Dylan that, despite this initial non-love, they share the same loves. Mitch intends to make Dylan know that his loves admire him more, and even if that's not true, the puck starts to find his stick more, and he uses his speed to dance around Dylan's skates. He feels on fire with hockey and with winning, especially against Dylan, but it isn't until they're working together on the ice during the World U-17 Hockey Challenge that he realizes the fire he's been feeling doesn't quite burn his skin like it should. 

The burning comes full force at him in game two against Russia when Canada is down 4-1. It could be easily said that Mitch’s smile is from the hat trick he scores in the third period, but what Mitch will remember forever is that he did it with Dylan by his side, linemates for the first time, and that it was the first time they smiled _at_ each other. Their chemistry on the ice won't be lost on them alone, but it will be remembered just a little differently by Mitch.

Winning and hockey generously allow Dylan to climb to the top of Mitch's loves shortly after, especially because they know that some loves are only meant to be temporary. 

Mitch does not know this yet, so he puts his all into loving Dylan. He disobeys sleep to text back and talk on the phone about nothing important (the act of doing so is the complete opposite of unimportant), and he finds himself smiling and laughing more than ever before. Dylan burns into his memory with knowing glances, soft touches, and nose kisses. 

Winning and hockey even grant Mitch the opportunity to spend more time with Dylan in the public eye, having them both be highly touted NHL draft prospects in 2015. 

The cameras always seem on during this time, except for when they're not. When they're not is Mitch's favourite. 

Dylan ends up going ahead of him in the draft, but Mitch will eventually get to go to Toronto, so the real winner is clear to Mitch. He tells Dylan so just to chirp him, because how can he not, but they hug and laugh anyway. For a while, they will feel infinite.

Please remember that all of this is insignificant and temporary.

Up until this point, Mitch's first two loves haven't prepared him for what the upcoming heartbreak will feel like. When Mitch and Dylan decide to take the word _relation_ off their ship and tag _friend_ back on it, they both know they'll need time to adjust. 

Mitch doesn't blame hockey and winning on this numbing period, but it's hard not to want to blame something. He puts blame on himself for not realizing one of Life's greatest kept secrets: Love is only temporary, but it's the kind of temporary that lasts permanently on a person.

Mitch is not the same after meeting Dylan, but after some time has passed, he knows he's grateful for it. He goes back to smiling, because at least he still has his first two loves. The only thing missing is the burning of new romance, but with his body needing more sleep than usual from all the new experiences, he's able to forget that loss for a while.

 

It isn't until the beginning of a new preseason that he starts to feel the burning come back, this time for Auston.

His love for Auston doesn't ignite in the same way as it did with Dylan, nor should it, but he begins to recognize the possibility when he sees sparks come off the ice when Auston’s skates. _Maybe_ , he thinks. But now that he knows that love is only temporary, he works hard at fooling himself that he can get by with PR dates, matching hats, and light hand touches while holding babies. 

Hockey and winning acknowledge Mitch's previous heartbreak, and in an attempt to mask the burning for touch, convince Mitch that the burning is just for two points after two points.

It works until it doesn't.

Mitch falls in love with Auston without meaning to. 

He falls in love with Auston’s hockey and his drive to win. He's told that hockey and winning are falling hard for Auston, too.

Please remember that all of this is insignificant and temporary.

He falls in love with hearing Auston's laugh in the locker room. 

Please remember that this is insignificant and temporary.

He falls in love with Auston's confidence and playful competitiveness. They’re more alike than even their matching hats and sing-a-longs can portray.

Mitch knows he's entirely screwed one night when they're boarding a plane back from a road game and Auston asks to sit next to him. 

It's in the middle of a movie on Mitch's tablet when he feels Auston's hand drift toward his own thigh, close enough for Mitch to reach out and grab it if he wanted. He scoots his hand closer to Auston's as an invitation to hold it, a dare to take the chance. 

Please remember that this is insignificant and temporary.

Auston looks at him for the first time since they started the movie and there's that smile Mitch has seen before. For a split second, Mitch thinks of Dylan, and hockey and winning warn him of the dangers, but he's already too far gone. His hand moves closer, and the burning goes to full flame. 

Mitch feels Auston's hand cover his not long after, and they both grasp on. For how long? Mitch isn't sure.

He falls in love a fourth time with the complete knowledge that this could be, and overall will be, temporary. Like all his small and insignificant moments, Mitch will keep this close anyway.

 


End file.
